I just spent the last two hours wandering around Borders in search of a new journal. Something about a bound book with all those blank pages really calls to me. I love how they feel, how they can be filled with anything, how the possibilities are endless. In fact, I collect blank journals. I have stacks of them on my bookshelf. But in practice, journaling just does not work for me. I'm too much of a perfectionist. I make one "mistake" and the whole book is ruined. I found one today with perforated pages that I could just tear out if I didn't like what I wrote, or my handwriting was smudged, or whatever else tainted the page...but after some thought I realized that the torn out page, no matter how cleanly it was separated would bother me. I would see the spacing it made between two pages, and still the book would be a loss. But I need to write this year. I to keep a log. I need to be able to look back at my thoughts. See where this new year has taken me.
A few things lined up in the past couple days that have inspired me to search for self discovery, contentment, balance and happiness in this new year. If 2011 is like 2010 I feel like I will have lost myself forever. I have to get out of slump. I have to learn to love myself, in order to love my husband and find fulfillment in my life. I MUST find balance this year. There is no option here. Since handwritten journaling is not a viable option, let the blogging begin. (There is a delete button here that simply does not exist with a pen!)
And so begins, my experiment in self discovery.
I so know what you mean. I journal. But mostly I just collect them... I'm a bit of a perfectionist in someways too.. I'm glad that I could inspire you. Maybe part of the journey we both have to make to get where we want to be will come with watching the other grow...
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